Bulldozer battles: Transformers defeated in China
In case you missed it, last week Decepticons and Autobots came back to Earth to fight a mighty street battle in Hebei Province, China. Taking the formidable form of screeching forklift trucks, the rival sides fought for dominance in a thunderous display of vehicular sumo wrestling. Traffic was interrupted during the melee, which saw two trucks felled and four others damaged. Reports say one human was injured by the toppling bulldozer, while another suffered a gunshot wound in the course of the battle.
Okay so there were no Transformers involved. But everything else about that paragraph is true. Check out some footage of it here:
According to Chinese news sources, the forklift battle was caused by a dispute between two rival cement mixing companies, both of which believed they had the rights to supply concrete to a county construction project. Two drivers were injured, one by a gunshot (somehow), but both are in a stable condition. While police are undertaking an investigation into the incident, the key question at the fingertips of derisive Chinese netizens seems to be: were the forklift drivers graduates of Lanxiang Vocational School?
Most people following Chinese-language news over the last few years will know of Lanxiang in Shandong province as China’s favourite scandal-plagued school. Lanxiang has been embedded in controversies ranging from cyber-espionage to public love affairs to Communist Party politicking. In 2010, the New York Times published an article claiming the school could be linked to several recent cyber-attacks launched against Google and other American corporations, with the purpose of stealing data and trade secrets. In 2014, a massive brawl broke out at the school involving dozens of people, including the 70 year-old founder of the school Rong Lanxiang, who allegedly injured his hands during the fight. Rong was already no stranger to media controversy, that year having been accused of tax evasion and violating China’s birth limit laws, as well as being involved in a messy public divorce with his wife over an alleged mistress. This was not a good look for someone who also happened to be a member of China’s National People’s Congress.
These controversies aside, the school has also been lampooned on Chinese social media for its overly dramatic advertisements, which come across more like a trailer for a Hollywood blockbuster than for a technical college which trains chefs and bulldozer operators. One of Lanxiang’s slogans has become particularly famous online: “When it comes to excavator technology, who is strongest? China’s Shandong Lanxiang!” In the wake of the 2014 brawl incident, Chinese netizens have delighted at misquoting the slogan as “When it comes to a punch-up, who is strongest? China’s Shandong Lanxiang!”
So it is no surprise, when a video of acrimonious forklift drivers engaged in a dramatic public brawl goes viral, that jokes about Lanxiang Vocational School come in thick and fast on social media. “In a struggle between Lanxiang elites, us mortals can only look on from the sidelines” declares one netizen. Another suggests that the bulldozer display was merely Lanxiang students practicing for the school’s rendition of War and Peace. But my favourite was the commentator who found the script to the next installment of the Transformers franchise:
“Optimus Prime: Megatron, you are truly contemptible. You speak of a duel, but then get your Decepticons to attack me by surprise!
Megatron: Wake up Optimus! You fool, it was Shandong Lanxiang who defeated us both!”
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